Truth Tuesday: The Stress Is Too Real

I think I need to call today tired Tuesday. I have been going through it this week since Aunt Flo came to visit, with her unwelcomed a&$#. All I wanna do is eat chocolate and sleep. Anyway I have been feeling stressed :(. As I'm sure most of you understand when you have no choice but to live back home with your parents your life changes. I have been in this situation for about 2 1/2 years and I'm telling you, I have been feeling like I have went so many steps backwards. This situation has become a major stress factor in my life and even though I am working towards getting my own place, it takes awhile to save. Also saving is becoming a issue because every time you try to put something away you realize that you need to take it back out because you need something or a holiday/birthday is coming up. Like for example completely didn't know when Father's Day was so of course guess who had to get a gift??? To add to everything it falls on the week that I got get paid, how great is that :/. Nnow I'm sure your saying "oooohhh they will understand you don't have it this week well your WRONG I'll never hear the end of this ish. Sometimes people don't understand that you have savings for a reason. They think because you have it, that you always have money and you can pick from it anytime you want to, THERE CALLED SAVINGS, I'M TRYING TO SAVE !!!Also I give money to my mom which is like a rent but it not as much but sometimes (All The Time) I wish I could keep my damn money. I love my mom to death and even like my step dad (sometimes) but I feel like I'm a little kid again. I understand that it is their house their rules but sometimes I just wanna smack them around a little bit (I would never hit my parents lol.) I could complain all day but I wont, only I can get myself out of this situation and I will continue to do so. Other than that not much is going on but....... I am starting back up my YOU TUBE again!! I haven't done a You Tube video in about a year but I want to get it started back up again so if your reading this please go check out my youtube channel A.J Marie https://www.youtube.com/user/phlajones. I am still a freshman to the blogging game so please don't make fun of the camera quality lol. I will be posting Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, please show some love and support. I am doing a video tomorrow, a Hair Store Shopping Haul!!! Please Check It Out, Like, Subscribe and thank you so much for reading this today :) Happy tired Tuesday!!!

Truth Tuesday: Self Reflection

Hey everyone hope your having a good day :) I am so tired. Work is not hard, I just rather sometimes be in my bed. I'm sure you all can relate. So what's been going on with me??? Well If you have read my blogs before everything in my personal life is still the same, I am still single :( But I have realized (just today lol) that maybe I should take this time and work on getting myself together. I'm not a complete reck but there are things I want to work on like my heath (the healthy lifestyle struggle is real) and just stuff, at almost 30, I feel I should have by now. Still sucks to be alone but I have time to be in a happy and healthy relationship; Bae Is Out There Somewhere! On a sad note my grandmother passed away this Saturday. She was really sick for a long time and even though I am sad, I'm happy she doesn't have to suffer anymore. When someone passes it always makes you think about your own life. In my life I have avoided a lot of things that made me uncomfortable; I have even avoided people. If I didn't see a person in a long time or meet someone new I wouldn't make the effort to call or to keep in contact with them. I would feel weird and uncomfortable because I didn't know them and/or too much time went pass. I realized by doing that "being anti-social" I have missed out on a lot of good times, getting closer to family members and possible good friends. I always say to my self " If I just...." Life is too short to live with regrets and I have to try and do things that are out of my comfort zone, We ALL Should!!!(if your not already.) So on that note I'm going to end this blog, hope everyone is living life without regrets:) R.I.P grandma.

Truth Tuesday: Life is too short.

Sorry this is late, it's just been one of those days. Being a women sucks sometimes. Every month we get a visit from the devil and along with it comes cramps, acne, cravings, unnecessary emotions and fatigue. If only men could experience this; oh what a world it would be.....anyway I heard some sad news about my grandma. I won't go that deep into it but my grandma has Alzheimer's disease;and doesn't have long too live. When you are going to loose or have lost somebody regardless of your relationship it still holds a great sadness. It also reminds you that life is too short to let it just past bye. Sometimes I have stayed away from things and people because of fear. Its not a easy thing to do for a introvert like me but I will try my best to break out of this. Life is short and filled with ups,downs, good and bad experiences. It makes us who we are. Everything we go through in life makes us stronger people. Live life is the moral to this entry, try to make the best of each day.

Truth Tuesday

GoodHey everybody, if you are in warm weather I don't like you! Jk, It's so cold in Philadelphia I can't even feel my toes :(. So I got good news, I got a interview!!!!! I'm actually at my second interview today. Somebody finally called me. It's a part time offer but it's better than nothing. I will be merchandising and that is something I love to do so I'm happy. It's also tax time which makes me even more happier. On the diet tip, I am not doing good. I was slacking a lot a bit but I will get back on track as soon as a get a schedule going. I was thinking of getting a waste trainer so I can get that coke bottle look(still a thick girl so like a thick coke bottle.) I'm not a expert on it, so please, if you have any thoughts about it, advice, suggestions please let me know. I heard that so many people were wearing the trainer and not training lol. I 100% intend on working out and eating right while wearing this thing, I don't wanna be the girl who wears it out and acts like that's really what my stomach look like. Valentines day is approaching and I don't know if I have a Valentine :( I'm scared to go on date lol; it's just not what it use to be. Oh well, maybe it will be me, a nice wine and Netflix. Oooohhhh and 50 Shades of Grey comes out ooooohhh. I definitely need to go see that. Even though I don't agree with the casting for Christian Grey; in my head I pictured him totally different. Let me know if you agree???? I have to go now they calling me for my interview, wish me luck. I'll tell you all about it when it's over :)........Upadate: Looking Good So Far Just Gotta Take A Test AndThen I Think I'm In.

Truth Tuesday: Words & Actions Can Hurt!

Hey everybody hope your week went well. It is so cold in Philly; we are have blizzards, wind and BS!! I wish I had the money to go to the beach somewhere, have a nice fruity drink and get warm. My week went ok, nothing but the normal looking for jobs, no one calling me, you know the usual. There was, however a little bit of a incident last Wednesday that I wanted to talk about. So me and a special friend  went to I Hop because we wanted to hang out together grab a bite; I love pancakes and they love me. So as we where eating, there were some younger kids that sat across from us that decided to take pics of me and my friend. Now me and him are both big and I am assuming that's why they were talking pics. I honesty didn't think anything of it at first, I thought it was stupid of them to be taking a picture of us eating, also I didn't realize that people still make fun of big people out loud only because in my personal experience I haven't had to deal with this type of thing since high school. I felt like we are big so what, we still look good. As the day went on I became concerned. It didn't bother me that they were making fun of me (I was more concerned at how did the picture turn out, I hope my shirt was down in back, I look pretty nice that day) but I was feeling some type of way that they were making fun of him. I thought we were having ok time and then those kids ruined it. I don't want myself or anyone I care about to feel uncomfortable. My friend was cool about it but I thought that was so mean and immature. I have gotten over the situation since then but it reminded me of when I was younger in middle school and high school when I was made fun of for being a big girl. Back then I would go home and cry because words and actions can hurt. As I grew up I didn't have to deal with people openly saying rude things to me, I also realized that there were a lot of guys who like the thickness, and that I was also a bit of hypocrite. I talked about people looks too and when it came to men I had a type too, everyone has a preference. How could I be mad at somebody who don't like big girls when there are types of men that I don't like. How can I be mad at somebody for talking about me when I have talked about other people. I had to look at myself and change myself as well, which in a weird way made me less self conscious. Don't get me wrong STUFF STILL HURTS MY FEELINGS but I learned that it takes time and growth for people to change their ignorance. I noticed that the way you treat people, in some cases start with your parents. If they make fun of somebodies appearance then their children will. Other reason is that they want to fit in with the other kids everything is funny when you are trying to be in with the cool kids. The entertainment industry doesn't help either; there is nothing but smaller women on her t.v and computer screens. There are beautiful plus side women has well but you mostly see them as co-stars or used for comedy. Also   talking about other people makes you feel good about yourself and the things you have, due to our own insecurities. Even big girls make fun of big girls which makes no since at all to me!!!The way things are now a days makes me nerves to have children, I don't want anyone picking on them or putting them on social networks. All I can do is make sure that I teach them that hurting others with words and/or actions is wrong and maybe throw in some karate lessons just in case. Some people think that when big people such as myself ask for respect or try to step out into the forefront and make moves weather it be in television or fashion that we are encouraging others to be unhealthy. For heath reason I am trying to loose weight but am I suppose to hide until then, am I suppose to be talked about everyday until I loose weight, Hell no! I'm going to embrace the skin that I am in and continue to work hard to make myself better and grow in the fashion industry. I hope that more plus size movements start and continue to grow. The negative people are just going to have to deal with it. I do hope one day that every size and shape with one day feel comfortable in this world. Everything starts with us, if we change how we treat people and teach our children how treat people then slowly we will start to see a change; every little bit counts!!!!

Truth Tuesday

So I live in Philly and it decided to snow today. Like why couldn't we have a white Christmas??? When your a child snow days are great, there are snow ball fights, you can walk in the street without worrying about cars and most important you got out of school. As a adult snow suck ass, you still have to work because as long as there is public transportation you still have to take your little happy ass to work, your the adult so you have to shovel, the kids don't go to school so you either have to find someone to watch them or entertain their annoying asses; its just a bad situation when your an adult. I am staying warm for the moment trying to figure out why ain't no one calling me for a job but I'm going to stay optimistic :) (not really but I'm trying hard) My diet is going good so far; since the last time I weight myself, which was maybe a month ago I lost 12 pounds! Which is great I have been sticking to calorie counting and so far so good. Still got ways to go but I'm still happy about the weight I did loose. I'm going to go wrap myself in a blanket, keep warm everybody :)